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The Second Family: Dealing with Peer Power, Pop Culture, the Wall of Silence -- and Other Challenges of Raising Today's Teens download epub

by Ron Taffel


Epub Book: 1620 kb. | Fb2 Book: 1606 kb.

The problem today is that busy parents and teens spend little time talking .

The problem today is that busy parents and teens spend little time talking about their reactions to what's happening to and around them. On the other hand, teens talk about it endlessly. D. affel has hit the target! His ideas and thoughts on what brings teens to seek comfort in the second family is key to understanding the youth of today.

It is impossible to understand today's teens or preteens without understanding the Second Family

The Second Family" encourages parents to rethink the ineffective parenting methods that have failed them and work with their children's second families to reconnect and create a mutual understanding that "first" families need to succeed. It is impossible to understand today's teens or preteens without understanding the Second Family. Taffel opens a window into a closed world of frightening dangers and equally uplifting possibilities.

The Second Family book.

Taffel opens a window into a closed world of frightening dangers and . the Wall of Silence - and Other Challenges of Raising Today's Teens

Taffel opens a window into a closed world of frightening dangers and equally uplifting possibilities. The Second Family: Dealing with Peer Power, Pop Culture, the Wall of Silence - and Other Challenges of Raising Today's Teens. Ron Taffel, Melinda Blau. St. Martin's Press, 11 февр.

book by Melinda Blau. If you have a teen or pre-teen, you recognize the phenomenon already-perhaps without even knowing it has a name. Excellent resource for individuals working with adolescents. Published by Thriftbooks. com User, 17 years ago. Dr. Taffel and Melinda Blau offer realistic scenarios and situations today's teens are encountering.

The second family," as Dr. Taffel calls it, is the unprecedented, collective power of the peer group and pop . It is almost impossible to understand today's teens or pre-teens without understanding the second family. Taffel calls it, is the unprecedented, collective power of the peer group and pop culture-a force so pervasive it threatens to, and often succeeds in, overwhelming the first family of adults at home and in school. It operates according to new rules: Peer pressure, as we usually think of it, is dead. Generational warfare and rebellion are out, comfort is what kids crave. And because parents and teachers don't see them clearly, teens worship celebrity, with its implicit promise of becoming instantly "known.

The peer group and pop culture together have become a "second family .

The peer group and pop culture together have become a "second family," exerting more influence on teenagers than their parents. The face teenagers show their parents is quite different from the face they show their friends I'm better. Along with the live-and-let-live ethos, there's a do-unto-others attitude that governs the way kids act. As a result we're seeing a new generation of teens who are more honest, open and willing to put their feelings on the line with their friends. Girls are still more expressive than boys, but the gap has narrowed.

Dealing with Peer Power, Pop Culture, the Wall of Silence - and Other Challenges of Raising Today's Teens. by Ron Taffel, Melinda Blau

Dealing with Peer Power, Pop Culture, the Wall of Silence - and Other Challenges of Raising Today's Teens. by Ron Taffel, Melinda Blau. Published February 11, 2002 by St. Martin's Griffin.

My family has been loyal to yours for generations! By getting rid of me, you would simply complete your betrayal! . You are still dealing with the consequences of my own indecisiveness.

My family has been loyal to yours for generations! By getting rid of me, you would simply complete your betrayal! Zuko. My father is the mayor of Yu Dao! Zuko. Avatar Roku, I never should've made that promise to Zuko. I mean I didn't even kill Ozai, and he was evil all the way through. How am I supposed to kill my firebending teacher? My friend?

If you have a teen or pre-teen, you recognize the phenomenon already-perhaps without even knowing it has a name. "The second family," as uncompromisingly described by renowned therapist Dr. Ron Taffel is the immense collective power of the peer group and pop culture-a force so pervasive, it threatens to, and often succeeds in, overwhelming the first family of adults at home and in school. Derived from thousands of interviews with kids and adults, The Second Family uses real-life, sometimes graphic examples to bare the truth about the world of adolescence today and to illuminate the new set of rules by which kids operate.

The second family can be scary to adults. While many parents bury their heads, insisting "not my child," Taffel reveals that even "good" children:- Chronically lie without a trace of guilt - Have sex at astonishingly early ages- Do drugs and alcohol not to be bad but simply because they are there

Yet there are healthy aspects to the second family that often go unrecognized:- A secret moral code of peer support that will surprise you- Boys and girls as best friends- Boys taking care of friends in emotional need- Girls becoming powerful group leaders- A social structure for teens that provides a type of intimacy, support, communication and honesty he or she can't find anywhere else.

It is impossible to understand today's teens or preteens without understanding the Second Family. Taffel opens a window into a closed world of frightening dangers and equally uplifting possibilities.


Comments: (7)

Barit
Exactly what it is supposed to be.
Hawk Flying
I will say this much to understand your teenage kids' need and why they act certain way and who is influening them you must read this book. You don't have agree with all of the text, but I can tell you that you will find it educational to say the least. By the way, if you don't want to spend money on this than get it from your library.
EXIBUZYW
I am a psychologist that works with teens and their families. This is an important book for therapists and families alike. Dr. Taffel explains the "second family" world of the teen. Both the negative as well as the positive aspects of this world. Dr.Taffel gives practical suggestions on how to work with the second family in order to maintain some healthy connection between the teen and the "first family".
Beanisend
Good read.
Lestony
Before reviewing this book, you should know that it includes extremely foul language, very explicit descriptions of sex acts, and other material that exceed what you would find in an R rated movie. Dr. Taffel acknowledges this, but feels like it is important to conveying his message. I agree.
Many aspects of this book could be describing when I was a teenager back in the 1960s. Dr. Taffel has a good ear for understanding how teens interact with one another.
Part of the growing up process is to begin to identify more with your friends than with your family, particularly if you are having a lot of conflict with your family. Along with the friends comes the popular teen culture of what is cool. Although the specifics of "cool" will constantly change, it is a way to feel like you fit in. That point connects to Dr. Taffel's more profound point. Teenagers are looking for comfort. This is both physical and emotional comfort.
Many parents fear the teen culture, assuming that behind each pierced body part can be found the core of a drug dealer, a temper, and miscreant. In fact, your teen's friends are probably a lot like your teen in attitude and focus. They may dress and act differently, but they have enough common ground to be comfortable with each other. More importantly, teens place a high reliance on being there for each other, being trustworthy, and keeping their word. In the family, a sense of being wronged can get in the way of behaving in that manner.
The problem today is that busy parents and teens spend little time talking about their reactions to what's happening to and around them. On the other hand, teens talk about it endlessly. The teen influence is going to win, unless the parents recast their attention and focus.
The best part of the book can be found in a series of practical suggestions for helping your teen earn your trust, how to work with your spouse and the school to support your teen, and how to be an effective part of your teen's life by showing genuine interest in your teen and her or his activities and concerns.
My main complaint about the book is that the title is very misleading. Most people will think the book is about step families. The subtitle is also misleading. It suggests that teens are directly concerned with challenging their families. Actually, the families, teens, and school can all work together in very harmonious ways. They often do, even when not coordinating with one another. Two good related books that will help you understand this one are Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy! and The Truth Will Set You Free.
After you finish this book, try to remember how your parents misunderstood the influence that your friends had on you. Where might you be making the same mistake now?
Encourage others to learn from experience, without taking on more risk than they can handle!
Cha
Dr.Taffel has hit the target! His ideas and thoughts on what brings teens to seek *comfort* in the second family is key to understanding the youth of today. Getting on the same turf or level as our kids is the key. If they won't let us in, how can we help when times get tough? Dr.Taffel suggests getting to know your child through the children they are involved most deeply with. Invite them into your home and embrace the parts of your child's life that give him/her pleasure. Once you step into their world, you will find the acceptance and communication that you thought you'd lost.
The Second Family is not about stepfamiles as the title might lead some to believe. The Second Family is about the "family" your child seeks through friendships and associations while searching for the "comfort" he/she may not be finding at home. Instead of fighting and judging your child, read this book and you will agree that Dr.Taffel has found the key to understanding our youth. Who knows, you may even learn something about yourself too!
Frosha
The Second Family is such a valuable, accessible resource for parents with adolescent children. Dr. Taffel has a way of shining a wise light on family communication and how to build bridges and unravel entanglements. This book brings not only reassurance, but also a level and calm approach to emotional traps and obstacles that parents create in their quest to remain in control. Dr. Taffel wisely suggests that parents revisit their own sense of entitlement and power in order to come to terms with today's teenagers.
Another sure winner from Dr. Taffel who always seems to hit the mark.I recommend this to many of the families with teens who I seen in counseling as it offers a real-life look into their world. Absolutely one of the best in his field.
The Second Family: Dealing with Peer Power, Pop Culture, the Wall of Silence -- and Other Challenges of Raising Today's Teens download epub
Parenting
Author: Ron Taffel
ISBN: 0312284934
Category: Parenting & Relationships
Subcategory: Parenting
Language: English
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin; 1st trade paper edition edition (February 11, 2002)
Pages: 224 pages